Weapons - A Review

***WARNING – SPOILERS***

What was intended to be a straight forward review of the new film Weapons, has morphed into an article on something which I have come to loathe, and that is the now common promotional tagline of: “Best Horror Film of the Year”.

Weapons, written and directed by Zach Cregger (Barbarian), has been hyped for months with an online viral marketing campaign and praise as being a contender for “best of the year”. It currently stands somewhere in the upper 90% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes (which means nothing, but is just stated to make a point).

Early reviews are universally good, as it stands right now, and it’s expected to make somewhere around $40 million dollars this weekend. I just got back from a viewing and have to admit that my initial reaction is one of disappointment. While I was a fan of Barbarian, due in large to its “plot twist”, I can’t necessarily say the same for Cregger’s latest offering.

Though sporting some solid performances by Josh Brolin (Thanos), Julia Garner (Silver Surfer), and Benedict Wong (Wong), and a good deal of mystery and tension building, the “reveal” here is lazy, and easy to figure out early on. I have no idea why 3 MCU actors are signed on for this movie.

While actress Amy Madigan gives a fine enough performance, her character of Gladys Lilly got one too many cues from the over-the-top, absurd visual goofiness of “Longlegs”. Things begin to feel like a copy of a copy.

Her batshit antagonist has no real motivation, merely brought in as a weak explanation to the intriguing mystery of 17 missing children that has powered the marketing campaign for months. Let me be clear, all of the performances are adequate, as is the tension and direction, yet the plot lacks any real substance as being “theater worthy”.

At a 2+ hour run time, the last 15 minutes still manages to seem tacked on and abrupt, because it had to serve some action/horror payoff. Why was the budget $38 million and starring Josh Brolin? I couldn’t tell you. Why has Julia Garner starred in 3 major films this year? She must have a really good agent!

Is Weapons a bad film? No, it’s not bad, in fact it’s good (subjectively). But it’s not a theater worthy experience, and that is something that these big budget productions really need to understand. Aside from the fact that I wanted to review Weapons, there was absolutely no reason that this film needed to be, or even should be, seen in a theater.

Many people will disagree with me (and I’d love to hear from you), but when you start throwing around “best of” and “new horror master” all willy-nilly, I can’t help but be critical of the multi-million dollar ad campaign that most independent films and creators can’t compete with.

Is Zach Creggar a “Modern Master of Horror”? Only time will tell. But it was nice seeing Sara Paxton on screen again for a few minutes. Weapons opens this weekend in theaters, but with 100 streaming options, I can totally understand why many horror fans might wait a couple months.

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Michael A Dyer is the host of the HORROR TO CULTURE podcast, vidcast, and website.